This can’t possibly be true.
(Ruffles through mental rolodex: Larry Craig, Mark Foley. Ted Haggard)
Well, OK, maybe it could be - but at this point, only Larry Flynt seems to know for sure.

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Pericles thinks I’m milking this. Which I am. Because it’s hilarious. Which brings us to Dennis Perrin’s “Savior of the Men’s Room,” a rather inspiring - or something - tale of “Straight Man” Tucker Carlson’s bathroom heroics:
STRAIGHT MAN: Say there, fellas! Why the waterworks?
BOY 1: There’s a weird guy in there, Straight Man! He looked at me […]

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