And now to our latest chapter in the ongoing saga of Falafel Bill O’Reilly, in which everyone’s favorite right-wing buffoon is all bent out of shape because Dumbledore is gay:

O’REILLY: Here’s — you can talk about this on your radio show tomorrow. There are millions of Americans who feel that the media and the educational system is trying to indoctrinate their children to a certain way of life, and that includes parity for homosexuals with heterosexuals.

And that’s what this Rowling thing is all about, because she sells so many books. So many kids read it, that she comes out and says, “Oh, Dumbledore is gay, and that’s great.” And this — it’s another in the indoctrination thing.

See? Because J.K. Rowling decided to announce that a character in a book was gay, children around the world are now going to be indocrinated into the homosexual lifestyle!

Ah, but Dennis Miller (ed. note: Dennis Miller?) tries to talk some sense into Falafel Bill, and indeed sounds sensible himself, saying that he doesn’t really care if Dumbledore is gay, and says he doesn’t think kids can be “indocrinated” into the unholy land of queerness.

Falafel Bill harrumphs this response:

O’REILLY: No, but tolerance. It’s — you know, he’s not going to be gay, but it’s tolerance of it.

Translation: Kids might be led to think this isn’t the end of the world.

Which, here on Planet Earth, it isn’t.