You may, with ardent surfing, find your live blogs on the Home Run Derby, or the Sotomayor confirmation hearings, or, oh, I dunno…. pro wrestling.
But I say without fear of contradiction that nowhere else, in the entire world wide interwebs, will you find all three in one place. We’re coming at you live from Chez Gross, starring Ben Gross, Chris “Boomer” Berman (sorry, can’t be helped), Albert Pujols, Sens. Jeff Sessions, Al Franken, et al, and a cast of many….
(Logistical note: I was going to time-stamp each entry as usual, but the hearings are a taped replay, plus the derby started before the hearings which started before the wrestling… the whole thing got unwieldly, so I’m just bold-facing each new entry.)
Steve Phillips says he admires St. Louis’ “midtown values.” Presumably, Phillips was conflating “Midwest,” and “small town.” Either that or the outskirts of St. Louis are just one opium den after another.
Brandon Inge? Nelson Cruz? Inge is my size. Cruz is in his fourth big-league season, and he has 44 career homers. In this, the best year of his career, Joe Mauer is on a pace to hit like, 28.
Meanwhile, Justin Morneau, who won it last year, and Josh Hamilton, who hit 28 in one round last year, are at the game, but sitting out.
Is the AL conceding this thing?
I’m gonna go a step further- I have no idea who’s gonna win the game tomorrow, but there’s no doubt that on paper, the NL has the better team. Look at the starting lineups in the respective batting orders:
AMERICAN LEAGUE
Ichiro Suzuki, RF
Derek Jeter, SS
Joe Mauer, C
Mark Teixeira, 1B
Jason Bay, LF
Josh Hamilton, CF
Evan Longoria, 3B
Aaron Hill, 2B
Roy Halladay, P
NATIONAL LEAGUE
Hanley Ramirez, SS
Chase Utley, 2B
Albert Pujols, 1B
Ryan Braun, RF
Raul Ibanez, LF
David Wright, 3B
Shane Victorino, CF
Yadier Molina, C
Tim Lincecum, P
I’m not sure I wouldn’t take the NL at each of the first six spots. Maybe the 4-5 spots are roughly a wash. 7 and 8 are strongly in the ALs favor, but 2, 3 and 6 are blowouts for the NL (I know, Joe Mauer might be the AL MVP, but just look at Pujols’ numbers). The pitchers are a wash. And the NL has the better bench, it says here, notably Prince Fielder, who’s maybe having the second-best offensive season in the majors.
Pujols is swinging for some fan (from Philly) who won a contest for the right to stand there and cheer awkwardly while Pujols tries to bash fences, no doubt to win the fan something. I’ve deliberately avoided the details.
Whatever he’s supposed to be doing, Pujols is failing miserably. This is of course “his,” all-star weekend, and he seems a little too aware of that.
C-SPAN 2 is rerunning Sotomayor’s opening statement, after which they will rerun the entire first day of hearings.
Her statement is mostly doing a tedious survey of her resume and professional experiences. I’m reminded of the Pennsylvania Senate hearing on the PIAA a decade ago, at which PIAA honcho Brad Cashman asked for and was granted an opening statement, which he used only to introduce himself and his staff and outline where they went to college, etc., ad infinitum..
Why? You could see the Senators thinking- We already dislike you. Now you’re boring us into a coma…
It makes a little more sense in Sotomayor’s case. She isn’t in trouble and is just trying not to piss anybody off, but she has to say something.
The patently underqualified Nelson Cruz of course just cranked No. 9 into the fourth deck
The coolest thing about this all-star game going in, to me, is the starting pitching matchup. Halladay is not only the best pitcher in the AL, but the star of all the trade-deadline speculation. Lincecum is just the most interesting person in the sport right now, this 5-11, 160 kid whose dad never played at a high level but is this mad scientist of pitching mechanics.
So dad taught his son this method that all traditionalists think is horribly wrong. Except the kid throws 97 with a breaking ball and movement, and he does it all day long. He’s been the best pitcher in the NL for over a year now. Oh, and he looks like a 15 year-old version of Jay of “Jay and Silent Bob,” fame.
Monday Night Raw is live from Orlando (I know, it’s pro wrestling, but it’s also the closest I’m likely to come to watching sports with my sons.) The Mighty Vince has recently come up with a guest host concept, somebody new each week, a celebrity from any field, who’ll have “unlimited powers,” for the week within the WWE universe.
Think of the possibilities- Pam Anderson, Shaq, David Letterman, Marlyn Manson, Britney Spears, Howard Stern, Simon Cowell, The Iron Shiek, Rush Limbaugh, John Madden, Sen. Patrick Leahy…
Tonight it’s Seth Green, of “Robot Chicken” fame, Dr. Evil’s son Scotty from the “Austin Powers,” movies.
Ben Gross as Chris Jericho talking to Seth Green: “You’re a liar, a hypocrite, a sycophant… and your Dakota Fanning sketch did not amuse me….”
…Stephen Colbert, Ben Affleck, Lindsay Lohan, Alec Baldwin, Elton John, Doris Stearns Goodwin…
Mrs. BPR, passing through the living room after ruefully discovering we’re not fully equipped to make our own yogurt, is apparently aghast at a six-diva, all-bikini tag match. You’d think she’d know better by now.
… Chris Matthews, Sarah Palin (that one’s GOT to happen), Roger Clemens, Paris Hilton, Antonin Scalia, Michael Phelps, Mr. T….
C-SPAN is live (on tape) from the Hart Senate Office Building, where opening statements are being made by all 19 members of the Judiciary Committee. They are of course speaking to their constituents, so it can be seen that the guy they sent to Washington is doing big, important stuff on TV. Giddy-up.
Poor Sotomayor has to sit there interminably with varying degrees of goofy half-smile nailed to her face while the Republicans tear into her (lots of talk of empathy - a newly dirty word - and “judicial restraint”) and Democrats jump to her defense because of her historic female Latinaness (only in America, etc.)….
… Puddy from Seinfeld, George from Seinfeld, Terrell Owens, Bernie Madoff (on work-release), Jon and/or Kate, Rick Santorum…
Cruz is hanging in there, so of course Boomer feels compelled to find a new entry for his long-forgotten collection of Cruz nicknames (Todd “Caribbean” Cruz; Julio “Won’t you take me on a sea,” Cruz, etc.)
He comes up with Nelson “Around the world,” Cruz. Huh? We’re all getting old, Boom, but… huh?
…Barbara Walters, Glenn Beck, Jared from Subway, Brock Lesner, Ringo Starr, Dan Rather….
Sotomayor’s attackers are Senators from Alabama, South Carolina, Texas, Maryland and Kentucky, while her defenders are from New York, New Hampshire, Rhode Island, Wisconsin and Minnesota.
Just in case anyone thought that Red state/Blue state stuff was passe.
… Gilbert Gottfried, Wolf Blitzer, Michael Vick, the Olsen twins, Bill Gates, Jenna Jameson, Charlie Manuel…
Prince Fielder wins the home-run derby, over Cruz. No magic this year, which was bound to happen at some point. MLB’s been pretty lucky with this thing- recall Hamilton last year, Ryan Howard, Bobby Abreu a couple years back.
Eventually, this will go the way of the NBA Slam Dunk Contest and become either gimmicky and silly or played-out and dull.
Lindsey Graham acknowledges that barring a “complete meltdown,” Sotomayor is going to be confirmed. So there’s no practical benefit to paying attention to these hearings.
It’s just that… I love the Supreme Court. Honest. I can’t get enough of it. I was going to throw some stuff in here about the issues surrounding these hearings, but it got so long I’m taking it to a separate post which should be up today or tomorrow.
Yes, I’m risking making an ass out of myself, commenting on legal matters. Never stopped me before. Don’t care. It’s my blog….
Amy Winehouse, John Daly, Pac Man Jones, Mike Tyson, Osama bin Laden (like Vince couldn’t find him)…
In the night’s “feature” match, Seth Green puts himself in a six-man tag with HHH and John Cena vs. Randy Orton and his two caddies. Green is 5-4! What’s the deal with celebrity heights? I saw Luke Perry up close once, and he didn’t look any bigger than my 14 year-old, and Perry is apparently two inches taller than Seth Green.
Anyway, Green’s team wins, via the sleep-inducingly predictable tag-match script, and HHH carries him around like he’s Emmanuel Lewis.
Next week’s Raw guest hosts: ZZ Top. Didn’t see it coming.
