We’re coming at you live from the palatial living room of Chez Gross, where we’ll be one of only 67,428 bloggers doing an NBA draft lottery.
The ESPN crew is Stu Scott anchoring, with Jay Bilas, Jeff Van Gundy and Mark Jackson doing analysis from the desk. Stephen A. has his own little talk-show set off to the side. In comparison to TNT this is going to be humorless and, I fear, relatively unbloggable. Unless it goes really well, I’m out after the Sixers pick at 16.
7:14- Andy Katz confirms the obvious: The Bulls have told him they’re taking Derrick Rose No. 1.
7:23- We’re looking at the Bulls’ War Room for the third time - even though there’s nothing happening there. Their pick is made. Everybody’s just sitting around. Are you like me? Had you forgotten that Vinnie Del Negro is actually the Bulls’ coach? How did that happen?
7:39- Rose is chosen. His brothers, who started an AAU team for him and have been known to “negotiate” with his coaches, seem like classic stage parents, so the fact that they don’t seem interested in hogging the camera is small good news. Michael Beasley smiles and claps his way through the losing-Oscar-nomineee shot, with of all people Bob Huggins looking bored (and thirsty?) in the background.
Rose is the correct choice, a phenomenal athlete who’s a real point guard and by all evidence not a jerk. Upside- Jason Kidd plus a 20-plus a game scorer. Downside- Eric Snow.
I hope it’s obvious I’m kidding about Eric Snow.
7:45- Miami takes Beasley, ending the only real drama of the night. O.J. Mayo isn’t clapping, and looks just short of dour in his expressionlessness.
7:50- Mayo to the T-Wolves. He’s wearing a silky, cream-colored three-piece and multi-colored wing-tips. A little retro, and frankly a little clownish.
7:55- Russell Westbrook to Seattle. Upside- Sidney Montcrief, but that’s a reach. Kevin Durant is in the house, and when the pick is announced he claps and celebrates in that odd, semi-dainty way he has.
8:03- Kevin Love to the Grizz. I loved Love in the middle of the college season, but thought he got exposed against quickness in the Final Four. Potentially nice piece on a good team, but can’t see him making a bad team, like Memphis, good.
The Knicks are up next. The obligatory camera pan of the loony fans in the audience stops on a guy in a Knicks jersey who yawns majestically. Catch the fever.
8:08 - It’s the Italian, Danilo Gallinari. Boooooo.
Fran Frischilla semi-predicts that Gallinari could eventually become a New York sports figure like Derek Jeter and Tiki Barber. Ohhkeeyy…
During his Stephen A. spot, Gallinari seems a little unnerved by the reaction. Might be a language-barrier thing.
8:14- Eric Gordon to the Clippers. He’s the fifth college freshman in the first seven picks. Not crazy about this guy- not really a 2-guard size- and shot selection-wise, and obviously not a point. Very strange outfit- white tuxedo jacket, short with black-and-white shirt and black collar, black pants. Literally not a suit
With the arguable exception of Westbrook, everybody to this point has made very straightforward, best-player available picks. No trade talk. None of the broadcasters have said anything brilliant, funny or stupid. Just not a lot of meat on this bone. Of course, Larry Brown sticks his toe back in the water in a couple minutes…
8:20- Huggy’s guy, Joe Alexander, to the Bucks. I actually like him. When you’re 6-8-plus, can jump to the rafters and have excellent mid-range shooting skills, you ought to be able to score in any league.
If the Bobcats don’t take Brook Lopez, he’s headed toward Brady Quinnville.
8:27- D.J. Augustin to Charlotte. I think Augustin has been undervalued, an excellent penetrate-and-dish guy who can also shoot jumpers, but don’t they already have Ray Felton?
Brook Lopez isn’t even trying to hold it in- he has actual tears in his eyes. He almost has to go next, though- New Jersey needs quality size as much as any team in recent memory.
8:31- Brook Lopez - a center (remember them?) - goes to the Nets. Considering their needs and that this is the 10th pick, this might be the night’s first steal. I don’t know why we’re suddenly in italics, and I can’t get out of it. Help…. 8:42- Jerryd Bayless to the Pacers. He’s the sixth freshman in the first 11 picks, which means either the high school class of 2007 is the best ever, or NBA brains are absurdly overrating the strange and simplistic notion we call upside. Again… 8:44- Rider’s Jason Thompson to Sacramento. Mark Jackson correctly identifies this as a reach. Played against sub-standard comp in the Metro Atlantic. Bilas is starting to annoy me. He likes everybody, won’t criticize a pick. By last winter he was becoming too known for talking about players being long, so now he won’t use that word, instead giving wingspan numbers. For what it’s worth, he doesn’t mention Thompson’s wingspan, and he’s 6-11. 8:49- -Brandon Rush, to Portland, is the first Kansas Jayhawk taken. He can play, I think. 8:53- Golden State takes, yes, another freshman, LSU’s Anthony Randolph. Bilas realizes the pinnacle of his art: “7-3 wingspan. Considerable linear extension in space.” Dicky V makes an excellent point- Seattle could have had Kevin Love, who’d be interesting with Durant etc., and instead took Westbrook, one of several apparently interchangable guards in the lottery. 8:59- Robin Lopez to Phoenix at No. 15. Suns changing their approach a little? We’re really clipping along here- five picks in 17 minutes. Lopez, with a ‘fro, looks like Oscar Gamble or Bake McBride in his baseball cap. That’s a 1970s baseball reference, for you kids out there. 9:05- To your Sixers: Marreese Speights from Florida. He’s a 6-11 not-quite center, one of the usual horde of those types who tend to dominate the bottom half of the first round. All I know about this guy is I watched Florida play last year, and they appeared to have one player, and he wasn’t it, and Billy Donovan aparently felt the same way. Bilas: He’s a big-time talent, blah blah…. But then: “He didn’t dominate anyone in the SEC.” and “Doesn’t know what his limit is.” Translate that from the original Bilasese and you get ”He underachieved,” and “he doesn’t play hard.” Marvelous. Of course, everyone was dubious about Thaddeus Young last year, too… Unless something happens, I’ll just make the occasional trenchant observation for a while…. According to a SportsNation poll, Kosta Koufas is the best remaining center, 58% to 42% over Deandre Jordan. Who votes in something like this? Why were there only two choices? Or did two guys just happen to get 100 percent of the vote? America! Five players who aren’t in NYC have now been taken, and Kansas’ Darrell Arthur is still sitting there in a suit. Mark Jackson tells Arthur to ”get a fresh piece of gum and wait for his moment.” Was that supposed to make him feel better? Scott just said for the third time that “some people say the Pac 10 isn’t a basketball league.” Then last time a non-moron said that was probably like 1993. Courtney Lee of Western Ky. goes to the Magic at 22. Bilas, of course, “loves this kid.” Now, clearly, Darrell Arthur=Brady Quinn. Each time the commish announces a pick and adds, “is not here..” he seems more and more annoyed for Arthur. Utah takes Ohio State’s 7-foot Kosta Koufas, a project to be kind, at 23. Bilas thinks he “has a chance to be special.” It keeps getting worse for poor Darrell Arthur, since we’re clearly at the stage of the draft where teams just blindly (and mostly stupidly) roll the dice on seven-footers. ESPN’s coverage is just dryly competent enough that it’s hard to make fun of. This is the first time I’ve been disappointed with Jeff Van Gundy as a broadcaster. He clearly isn’t prepared or especially comfortable with this aspect of the business, so he’s reduced to saying stuff like, “I don’t know (who Utah is taking), but I know they have to be tough to play for Jerry Sloan.” Mark “Vinnie Del Negro is a head coach and I’m not?” Jackson is the same way to a lesser degree, so the show is carried by Bilas, who’s clearly done his homework but likes everybody, which obviously can’t be right. Stephen A must have ducked out to a club; we haven’t heard from him in an hour. Would it sound ridiculous to say I miss not only Charles and Ernie and Kenny but Peter Vescey? It certainly would to me. A scant three hours into the broadcast, Ric Bucher reports that there’s a problem with Darrell Arthur’s kidney which is turning teams off. Thanks for sharing. 10:12- Arthur finally goes at 27 to New Orleans. The commish is clearly pleased and relieved. The crowd at the Garden applauds heartily. Stu: “New York has heart.” Of course, two hours ago New York was booing the hell out of a bewildered Italian kid the Knicks drafted. 10:35- The first round is over. What have we learned, kids? I’m struck with how routine and uncreative all this seemed. This just in: The NBA genuflects at the altar of size, immaturity and upside, upside, upside. I guess we didn’t learn anything at all. I’m tired, but it’s a good kind of tired. Peace out.
